Blog. Anxiety and Hospitality
May 09, 2023 | Author Jeremy Gibson
The hospitality industry’s awkward relationship with anxiety.
‘Anxiety’ is the theme of this Mental Health Awareness Week and it’s a tricky issue to discuss in a fast-paced industry like ours.
In my view, the way industry is perceived by society sets us up to have an awkward relationship with the very concept of anxiety. From the breathless tension of controversial depictions like Stephen Graham’s character Adam in the 2021 movie Boiling Point, to the slightly more sedate but nonetheless pulse-raising final thirty seconds as the chefs plate up to serve the poker-faced critics in MasterChef The Professionals; there’s no denying that a certain degree of tension is what makes hospitality exciting.
In fact, for loads of hospitality people I’ve met over the years, the nervous anticipation followed by the heady intoxication of a busy service and the sense of euphoria after, is why they love this industry so much. And for some, it can become just that bit too addictive.
Acute feelings anxiety can be obviously problematic for any of us, but they also happen to live just next door to the positive, and necessary, emotions of excitement and anticipation. Feelings that we all need to experience in order get ourselves into the ‘show-time’ headspace before a big event, presentation, service, or whatever it is we need to bring your 'A game' to. All this makes anxiety a likely outcome if not managed carefully.
The world is a more anxious place, and money worries can make it worse.
For lots of the people we help, poverty doesn’t hit them like a tidal wave. It’s more like an incessant dripping tap of minor setbacks that pushes them to the point when they can’t take any more, resources and resilience finally spent by an apparently trivial episode like a failed MOT or a lost PE kit.
We tried to capture this feeling in recent case study Rochelle’s Story that depicts how a chain of minor events conspire to form a crisis for Rochelle, it’s an alarmingly familiar story that wears people down and leaves them anxious. This anxiety inevitably enters the workplace and can linger long after the immediate financial pressures have dissipated.
In our industry and wider society, anxiety is something many of us have to learn to manage.
It can manifest in lots of different ways, and we each need to learn to identify our own triggers and learn how to respond to them.
For me, the first trigger I notice if I'm feeling anxious is a tendency towards procrastination when I'm naturally decisive. It's usually because I'm overwhelmed by a project or decision and I'm usually able to break it down into tickable offable tasks which helps me regain a sense of control and focus.
The rest of this blog post is designed to help you spot your anxiety triggers and helps you take steps to address them. It also gives you pointers on what to do if you're worried about a colleague or team member.
No matter what you do in hospitality we've got your back. If you're an EAP subscriber, great news - there's lots we can do for you, call the Assistance Line or visit WellOnline to get started.
If you're not covered by an EAP we offer a free helpline to anybody in the industry, it's totally confidential and just a phone call away.
If you'd like to talk to us about how our EAP can help your business there's a form at the bottom of this post.
Hospitality Action Helpline.
0808 802 028224/7
EAP Assistance Line.
UK: 0808 802 2111 (24/7)
Irl: 1800 911 121 (24/7)
Support Platform.
How to spot anxiety and what to do.
Anxiety can have a debilitating impact on both long-term physical and emotional wellbeing. At the extreme end of the spectrum lie anxiety disorders, which almost always require professional help.
But the good news is that there is an awful lot that we can do to take responsibility for our levels of stress and anxiety. We can’t always do something about the demands that are placed on us, but we can always do something about how we respond.
Charity Anxiety UK has devised a simple anxiety self-diagnosis test. If you can answer yes to these questions then you may be experiencing anxiety:
- Do you feel that you have been nervous most days over the past six months?
- Do you have problems falling asleep?
- Do you have bad dreams or wake up worrying?
- Do you feel that your body is very tense or uptight?
- Do you often feel that you want to shout or feel frustrated?
Other physical symptoms of anxiety can include: faster breathing, a fast heartbeat, sweating or hot flushes, restlessness, nausea, grinding your teeth, having panic attacks.
Different people can feel anxiety in relation to all sorts of different things – there isn’t a defined set of causes. However, somethings are more likely to bring about feelings of anxiety. They include:
- Past experiences such as abuse, bereavement, bullying, neglect, racism, or social exclusion.
- Problems in the present day such as a long periods of stress, uncertainty, work pressure, unemployment, financial issues, loneliness, bereavement, abuse or bullying.
- Living with serious health problems.
- Living with other mental health problems such as depression.
- Drugs and alcohol.
- Medication for physical or psychiatric problems.
If you are struggling with anxiety and feel you need help, then you can contact your GP who can help you gain access to a range of treatments. But there are also things you can do to help yourself:
- Talk to someone – if you are an employee from a company that subscribes to our EAP call our EAP Assistance Line, for everyone else please call the HA helpline.
- Write down your worries – It can help to make a note of what is worrying you and keep them in a specific place to help you stop turning those worries over in your mind. Alternatively, dedicate a specific time in the day to think about what is worrying you.
- Breathing exercises – The NHS offers some specific breathing exercises to help you cope with stress.
- Look after yourself – Try to eat well, get some sleep, and consider regular exercise if you can.
- Peer support – Organisations like Anxiety UK, Anxiety Care UK, No Panic, and No More Panic can help put you in touch with groups of people who support each other through similar experiences.
Panic Attacks.
Imagine working front-of-house in the middle of a perfectly normal service. As you go about your work, you begin to feel a certain gnawing nausea in your stomach, followed by a strange numbness across your body. Trying to stay calm you notice that your breathing becomes laboured every step becomes and effort, you’re suddenly hyper-aware, you break into a heavy sweat.
You make your excuses and stumble outside short of breath now with a stabbing pain in your chest. You feel dizzy and light-headed, feeling at first very hot, then very cold, you think you’re going to die.
Gradually these terrifying symptoms begin to subside and you slump exhausted onto a chair. As you begin to regain your composure, you realise you haven’t had a heart attack or a nervous breakdown, but you can’t find anything to account for what you’ve just been through.
If any of these symptoms sound familiar, it is highly likely that you have had a panic attack, and it’s one of the most frightening experiences there is.
Download our Panic Attacks Helpsheet.
A Panic Attack, especially at work, can be a terrifying experience. To raise awareness of this important issue we're sharing, free of charge, one of the hundreds of Helpsheets available to our EAP subscribers. We hope it helps you understand how to cope with a Panic Attack if you have one yourself or are supporting a colleague experiencing one.
Tips for starting a mental health conversation.
We all exchange pleasantries through the day. But when we ask “how are you?” we normally accept the vague responses we receive: “sound … not bad … ok .. bearing up …” How can we dig deeper and unearth how a friend or colleague is really thinking? Here are some tips.
Asking somebody to speak frankly about their mental wellness is hard at the best of times, so why heap the pressure on yourself and them by manufacturing a set-piece discussion? Just build a conversation into the working day. The idea is to normalise conversations about mental health, not over-dramatize them. People are likelier to speak openly when they’re going about their day’s work and don’t feel under scrutiny. And eye contact can be intimidating for some people – especially if they’re struggling to speak their mind. So why not ask your colleague how they are when you’re prepping, dicing, filleting, stacking luggage or making up a bed?
There’s no one right way of expressing yourself; the important thing is to be empathetic and genuine. It’s important not to judge people. Just let them speak – and listen. Don’t jump in too soon with advice. Offer reassurance: saying “I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time” shows you care. But never say things like “don’t be silly”. Even if they’re well-intended, negative comments can knock self-confidence and reinforce embarrassment. Have a few lines up your sleeve: “we’re all human.” “We all have mental health.” “We all feel low sometimes.” Be patient and to let the person know that you are there for them, care for them and are ready to support them.
We often feel uncomfortable opening up when someone asks how we are. When you’re feeling down, feelings of low self-worth can leave you reluctant to burden others with your problems. The result is that we often say we’re okay when really we’re not. Asking twice is a good way of letting someone know you really are interested in their well-being. Try saying “no, really, is everything okay?” or ask “how are you on a scale of one to ten?”. By persisting, you’re signalling to them that you care and want to listen to them. Or why not let the conversation flow in another direction, before asking again? And remember the power of the pause: a moment of silence in a conversation tells the person you’re concerned about that you’ve got time for them, that you want to hear what they’ve got to say.
You’re not a therapist, and you’re not conducting a formal interview. You’re just a concerned friend or colleague, and that alone is a powerful thing. Simply by being open, intuitive, sensitive, kind and encouraging, you can help someone you’re concerned about. You don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to remind them that there are people who care about them, people who can help. And if what you say doesn’t come out sounding quite right, stop and try again.
Remember that we're here too, EAP members can refer a colleague to our dedicated Adviceline which can provide in-the-moment support and counselling services.
We also operate a free helpline for anybody in hospitality providing a listening ear and signposting people to relevant services for ongoing support.
If you want someone to speak openly about themselves, sharing your own feelings can help encourage them. Perhaps confide in them that you get a little low sometimes, worry about things, or perhaps struggle to sleep. Doing so demonstrates your empathy and ability to talk about feelings, and can reassure them that you aren’t going to judge them.
If you know that someone has experienced mental illness - maybe they’ve had time off work recently, or talked about it being depressed - don’t be afraid to refer to this when you ask how they’re doing. There’s no need to refer to specific details. Simply ask “how are things now?” or “are you back at work?” shows that person that they have nothing to feel awkward about. If you think someone has been acting differently it’s OK to mention that too, if it is done in a kind way. “You’ve seemed a bit quiet recently, is everything alright? I’m here if you want to talk.” This shows that you care and opens the door for them to chat about their issues when they’re ready.
Talking to someone face to face allows you to show you care through expressions and tone of voice. And it enables you to read the body language of the person you want to help. But it’s okay to use digital forms of communication, too. The occasional WhatsApp or DM tells somebody you value them and you’re thinking of them.