Blog. Blue Monday
January 16, 2023 | Author Jeremy Gibson
Blue Monday.
Blue Monday is fabled to have started out as a marketing wheeze by a travel company to sell us summer holidays; it’s just another day.
But then again, what’s so bad about seizing any opportunity we can to talk about mental health?
Every day we see the undeniable link between dwindling finances and deteriorating mental health. Eventually, the daily grind of trying to make ends meet, as the cost of literally everything goes up before our eyes, takes its toll. In this financially-delicate month after the expense of Christmas, all it takes is one unexpected bill, such as the car failing its MOT, a sudden rise in the cost of food or fuel, or even a lost PE kit, – there’s one event that breaks the fragile thread holding people together and they fall apart. Resources and resilience are completely and utterly spent.
In some cases, negative thoughts creep in – ‘suicidal ideation’ – where people contemplate taking their own lives can increase. We tried to capture this negative spiral in our latest film Rochelle’s story.
It’s important to say that people like Rochelle are amazing, in most cases people have successfully coped with very little for a very long time. Often on their own, they have worked tirelessly to provide for their families and to give their children as much as they possibly could. The vast majority of the people we support haven’t suddenly been thrown into poverty, they’ve fought to keep it at bay for years – they’ve just finally run out of resources and, very often, the mental energy to keep going on their own.
If you're feeling low, or worried about somebody.
Almost everyone will, at some point or other, think about suicide. It is, in fact, surprisingly common for people to contemplate “ending it all”.
But the vast majority of people who have contemplated killing themselves will tell you that the feelings pass, no matter how unbearable they may seem at the time. Anyone who has been close to someone who has killed themselves will also tell you of the emotional devastation that is left behind. And although controversy still surrounds the right to take one’s own life, the fact remains that anyone seriously contemplating suicide is in urgent need of sensitive support and compassionate care.
It is quite normal to have distant thoughts of suicide from time to time. It is also not uncommon among people struggling with depression to have actively suicidal thoughts without any intention of actually killing themselves.
But some warning signs should be taken very seriously:
- Making concrete plans — These might include making a will, taking out life insurance, saving up sleeping pills or working out how you want to be found.
- Feeling that others will be better off without you — Many people who contemplate suicide do not go through with it because of the impact they realise their death would have on loved ones. Once people start firmly believing that those close to them will genuinely be better off without them, their vulnerability increases dramatically.
- Marked changes in behaviour — Some people might suddenly access feelings of calm and serenity once they’ve decided to kill themselves. Alternatively, they might become cut off and withdrawn.
- Talking about suicide — Most people who take their own lives have mentioned their desire to do so to someone. While talking on its own isn’t necessarily helpful, having someone who can really listen to what is going on emotionally can make the difference between life and death.
If you are contemplating suicide or someone you know, it is crucial to hold on to the reality that these are feelings that pass, no matter how catastrophic they may seem now. Pain can be processed, and new ways to live life can be found. Get help. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, it’s important to get some kind of outside support.
Overwhelming feelings are very difficult to process on your own. There are organisations, such as the Samaritans, that run helplines staffed by people with special training in talking to people who are suicidal. Alternatively, the Hospitality Action helpline will connect you with an experienced counsellor psychotherapist who will help you think through the issues and decide on the best way forward.
If you have someone in your life who is feeling suicidal, Mind recommends discussing strategies with them for seeking help. One way of doing this is to create a personal support list that might include the names, phone numbers and addresses of individuals, helplines, organisations and professionals available for support.
Hospitality Action Helpline.
0808 802 028224/7
EAP Assistance Line.
UK: 0808 802 2111 (24/7)
Irl: 1800 911 121 (24/7)
Support Platform.
Nyall’s story
19 year old Nyall Brown, a front of house worker from Cromer in Norfolk, died by suicide in 2018. In a touching film his father talks about his son and calls on anybody with negative feelings to talk to somebody. It’s a powerful watch, but it could save a life.
Conversations about suicide are still very much a taboo in our society. But in 2023, with businesses failing and increasing uncertainty in the jobs market, we have to keep shining a light on this delicate subject and encouraging people to talk to a friend, talk to their boss, or talk to us.
We’ve got you.